Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s still here.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

How far does good behavior take you in a prison?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

If you’re an atheist, what would be your motive in spreading atheism, and why would you care what others believe?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

I was tired of fighting.

You are like me, then.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why is my older sister so mean to me as if I was her enemy?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I had run out of hope.

What do you think is the most powerful line in the song "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" by Édith Piaf?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

And the sadness?

Do most men prefer curvy women or skinny women?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What will the legacy of Jimmy Carter be in light of his death today at 100?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why are women attracted to ugly guys?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

The sadness was still there.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What is it like to have an insanely beautiful girlfriend?

Be who you already are.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.